Wrong Words
by allonsysilvertongue
Summary: "He had never been one to let emotions rule but it was Donna and he meant what he said, she was different. He nearly lost her and the thought of her incarcerated frightened him. He couldn't lose his constant." Harvey's POV the night Donna left him.


_It's been a week since the finale and I still have uncontrollable Darvey feels so I wrote this. I usually read Darvey, I don't write them so this is a first. I hope I got them right and that this will be a good read._

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**Wrong Words**

When Harvey Specter paid someone a compliment, it was usually met with an expression of shock and disbelief followed by a smile and a whispered thank you but when he told Donna that she was one of the most amazing women he ever met, none of that happened. Instead, she said she was leaving. She was leaving _him._

His ears rang and it took him a moment to process what she said. The whole situation felt inherently wrong. It wasn't like Donna to just… It couldn't be. It made no sense especially since _she_ had been the one to tell him once before that nobody would leave him so how could she stand there in front of him and say that she was leaving?

Harvey did what he does best in light of the situation. He turned it around and made it about her because what else could it be? Donna just went through an ordeal. There was a lot to take in and process. She needed to give it time. He told her just that. He tried to make her see reason because she couldn't quit on him. She couldn't. He wouldn't know how to handle it.

Except once again, the words coming out of her mouth was something he never thought he would hear. He once told her that she was full of surprises and that was still true except he wasn't quite expecting this.

"I'm not quitting. I'm going to work for Louis."

_Louis?_

He was going to lose her to Louis Litt, the one person he couldn't face losing to. Donna might as well have slapped him. He could it see happening in his mind's eyes. Louis and Donna would be unstoppable, just as they had been, because she was Donna and she excelled in everything she set her mind to. But Harvey quickly realised that that was not the worst of it. The worst was that Donna would be working just down the hallway. He would see her every day, a reminder of what they once had cutting him like a blunt knife, and he would cross paths with her knowing that she wasn't his anymore.

"Donna," he uttered her name. "Donna, please."

Harvey wasn't certain what he was pleading for now. Was he asking her to reconsider her decision? Was he asking her to stay? Or was he asking her not to work for Louis? If she really wanted to leave, then couldn't she find someone else to work for?

Donna sounded apologetic when she delivered her parting words. He watched her walk away. His plea, all the good that it did, remained just a plea. Her words echoed loudly in his head, piercing into his soul.

_I love you, Harvey._

A part of him wanted to call her back but his feet remained rooted to the ground. The hallway seemed to stretch in front of him, twelve years of memories anchored to Donna's ankle as she dragged it away from him; their first meeting, the news of his father's death that Donna delivered, the ritual of the can opener, everything.

Harvey gave a slight shake of his head to get rid of those thoughts just in time to see Donna disappeared around the corner from his view. He heard the ding of the elevator a second later. She was gone and he was still frozen.

He snapped and turned around sharply, moving to stand by the window where he stared unseeing at the streets below. Not for the first time, it occurred to him that this could very well be his fault. It only sealed what he already knew – it was a mistake to tell her how he felt that night at her apartment.

He had never been one to let emotions rule but it was Donna and he meant what he said, she was different. He nearly lost her and the thought of her incarcerated frightened him. He couldn't lose his constant. They knew as much as there was to know about each other. They had twelve years to perfect that art, twelve years to learn the subtle meaning behind a smirk, a raised eyebrow, a shrug of a shoulder or a smile. He couldn't lose her so he had fought tooth and nail for her, and when he got her off, he let his guards down a little.

"You know why. I love you, Donna."

He balled his fist. He should have kept it to himself. He had kept that to himself all those years. Now she was gone and the irony wasn't lost on him. _He_ drove her away and he knew exactly what did it.

His eyes fluttered close as he clenched his jaw at the memory of a recent conversation.

"I was trying to make you feel better," he had said.

That was the beginning, the catalyst. She had just kept on pressing him from then and he couldn't answer her. Harvey didn't know how he love her or in what way. He just knew that he does. He didn't understand why it was so important for her to know. After all, what they had between them was good. There was loyalty, understanding and respect for each other. There was shared history and a friendship that ran deep. They had everything.

Harvey frowned.

Had she left him to work for Louis just to show him that he _couldn't_ have everything? If he didn't want the two worlds to collide, as she so aptly put it, then was she trying to make certain that they were well and truly separated? Was this what she was trying to do?

He shook his head. That was petty and she wasn't petty.

He couldn't figure her out, not tonight, and it drove him to frustration. This was Donna. He knew her. Or did he? He wasn't sure now.

There was nothing to achieve by standing here but there _had_ to be something that he could do.

Harvey stalked towards Jessica's office fully intending to put a stop to this madness. She was managing director which meant that she could tell Louis to find another goddamn secretary instead of stealing his. If that didn't work out, he might just have to speak to Louis himself the next day.

Jessica's office was dark and empty. He gritted his teeth, leaving the office in annoyance.

He barked orders, telling Ray to drive him over to Donna's apartment only to have Ray turned around as they neared her place. He couldn't go through with it. She wouldn't appreciate him telling her what to do and what not to do.

"Drive me home," he said, staring out of the window.

By the time Harvey reached his building, he had a plan. If Donna wanted to work for Louis then so be it. He would wish her well and he would get himself a new legal secretary. He or she wouldn't be nearly as good as Donna (nobody could) but he needed a replacement. When that was done, all will be as it should be. He would work on his cases and win them. Nothing would change.

It was a solid plan but when tomorrow came and he walked past her desk to see it empty, the plan didn't sound as good as it did in his head the night before. He was in a foul mood when he entered his office. He couldn't stop himself from glancing out of the glass door every so often, hoping to see the top of Donna's fiery red head as she sat on her desk.

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_Thanks for reading!_


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